Super Bowl Celebrations? Next Time Call in the ConAgra Cops

By Oren Peleg

If the Philadelphia Eagles pull off an upset and stun the New England Patriots in Super Bowl LII, Philly is going to turn into one huge party.

And that’s exactly what city officials are afraid of.

Eagles fans are some of the rowdiest in the sports world. They famously heckled, booed and threw snowballs at Santa during a home game. They have cheered opposing players getting injured.

And they have been known to climb up the city’s light posts to celebrate big wins. None would be bigger than the city’s first Super Bowl title.

So, prior to the NFC Championship Game against the Minnesota Vikings, union city workers dubbed the “Crisco Cops” took to the streets of Philly to grease light posts in hopes of to stopping fans from climbing.
But the non-union made Crisco didn’t work.

Videos have surfaced online of fans managing to shimmy up light posts to the delight of cheering onlookers after the Eagles clinched a Super Bowl berth with a Jan. 21 win over the Vikings.

Now, city officials have said they won’t even try to grease the polls prior to this weekend’s Super Bowl. Philadelphia Police Commissioner Richard Ross Jr. told CBS Local that his force will still try to keep fans off the light posts, but they won’t use any more Crisco. And they have politely declined New York-based PornHub’s offer of two 55-gallon barrels of lubricant to use as an alternative.

“Some of them will be far more difficult than the Crisco attempt. We’re trying to keep people safe,” Ross said.

Personally, we think that it a great union city like Philadelphia, those workers should’ve opted for union-made shortening from brands like Sara Lee or ConAgra to get the job done. Let’s hope they didn’t choose Crisco just for the nickname.

Check out Nick Green’s Slate  story which includes footage of the “Crisco Cops” in action before the Eagles-Vikings game.

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